The Plushy
by ElementKitsune
Summary: Kushina has an unfortunate habit concerning the Kyubi that her father's trying to break.


Uzumaki Natsu sighed as Kushina gave him the answer that he was trying to destroy.

"Pwashy!"

Now the word by itself was fine, but the reason Natsu was sighing was because of exactly _what_ Kushina was calling a plushy.

She was calling the Kyubi no Yoko a plushy, which would not do well once she became its jinchuriki.

It was four in the afternoon, and he'd been trying to break Kushina's bad habit since ten.

He could imagine what trouble she could get into vividly, unfortunately for him.

His poor baby running up to the demon, offending it by stamping on its pride and squealing over the cuteness, then having her mental self being ripped to shreds by the furious fox who's ego and dignity would probably be ashes by that time. Though it was its own fault for having those bunny ears.

But he digressed. His precious Kushina-chan would be turned into a vegetable because she thought that the Kyubi was cute! He couldn't let that happen!

Unfortunately for Natsu, he didn't know that at most, Kurama would just be annoyed and sulk, used to it from his mother and grandmother. He still cursed his father for making him so cute to them in his young age, and now old age once he met Uzumaki Kushina.

It would have taken a lot of stress off of Natsu's overworked and imaginative brain had he knew.

His violet eyes took a maniacal gleam, and he put the picture in Kushina's line of sight once again.

"Kushi-chan, this is not a plushy, it's a giant demon that will rip you to shreds if you think it's cute, so stop calling it that."

She looked at him, large adoring eyes holding that innocent joy. Natsu thought that he finally got through to her on his three-thousand, seven-hundred and ninety-first try, only for his hope to be brutally and unwittingly shattered to millions of pieces once again when she opened her mouth, and have the Kyubi be called even worse than before.

Now what could be worse for Natsu?

"Giant Pwashy! Daddy, I wan' Giant Pwashy!" Kushina yelled, sure that Daddy would get her the Giant Plushy because Daddy got her anything she wanted.

In case you didn't get it, Kushina was incredibly spoiled by her doting father. Her doting leader-of-a-clan-strong-and-rich-enough-to-rule-a- successful-village-and-get-her-anything-she-wanted father.

Natsu held back a sob.

He also mentally noted that try number three-thousand, seven-hundred and ninety-one failed, so he had to move on to try number three-thousand, seven-hundred and ninety-two.

At this moment, the future protector for Kushina, Surudoi Hogo, walked in to see the leader of Uzushio looking depressed while his future charge was happily staring at a picture of the Kyubi no Yoko causing havoc. And calling it a Plushy. Can't forget the Plushy calling, or more accurately, Giant Pwashy calling.

In a decision that he would come to regret, Hogo did _not_ cautiously back away like his common sense was screaming at him to do and calling him an idiot for not listening to, instead tentatively inching toward the leader and his daughter.

"Um... Uzu— Natus-sa...n? Natsu-san? Are you okay?" asked Hogo, shyness creeping into his voice.

Natsu suddenly perked up and looked toward the child. "Hogo-kun! Just the brat I need! You can help me get the idea of the Kyubi being an enormous fox plushy with bunny ears out of Kushina's head!"

He blinked. "...Can you run that by me again? I'm not sure I heard you right."

"What did you hear?"

"That I was the brat you needed to get the idea of the _Kyubi_ being an enormous bunny-eared fox plushy out of Kushina's head."

"You didn't say it word for word, but yeah, you heard correctly. So, are you willing to help me?" Natsu asked, and Hogo just smiled in a way that if anyone other than the immense-worry-wart-when-it-came-to-his daughter-and-village Natsu saw, they'd recognize it as a please-get-me-away-from-the-crazy-person smile.

Alas, no one other then Natsu saw and Hogo was roped into Natsu's attempts to get Kushina to stop calling the Kyubi a plushy and lessen his stress.

Somewhere deep inside of himself, Hogo was finally realizing that he should have just ran like he was the Sandaime Hokage's student Jiraiya when he was caught peeking.

* * *

In Konoha, a twenty-one-year-old white-haired pervert sneezed, and alerted his victims in the hot springs he was peeking again; coincidentally setting off the situation that Hogo was thinking of.

He also was feeling the strange urge to murder a brown-haired, yellow-eyed boy named Surudoi Hogo. The urge was quickly forgotten as he spotted Tsunade's best friend in the mob that was chasing him, and he feared for his life even more than usual.

* * *

A chill went down Hogo's back like someone walked on his grave as he finished his realization, and started regretting his decision like Common Sense said he would.

"Hogo!" Natsu called.

"Yes sir?" he asked.

Natsu shoved a picture of the Kyubi into Hogo's hands, and gave him his instructions.

"When I tell you to, you'll make sure that Kushina can see this picture clearly, and I'll try to convince her to stop calling it a Giant Plushy."

Hogo nodded. "Yes sir!"

That was how the cycle started, and the scene that Uzumaki Kamudansa walked in on as she went to check on her two-year-old daughter and paperwork-hating husband.

"Picture!"

"Yes sir..." Hogo tiredly flipped the picture so Kushina could see the Kyubi in all its destructive glory.

Kushina squealed, and to Kamudansa's bewilderment, yelled, "Cute Giant Pwashy! When I get?"

"Kushi-chan, the Kyubi is not a Cute Giant Plushy; it is a dangerous demon that will kill you."

"Pwashy!"

"Natsu-sama," Hogo started only to be glared at for the wrong honorific. "I-I meant san, Natsu-san!" A smile. "Try number four-thousand, two hundred and sixty-nine has failed."

Natsu still smiled, and said, "Well, onto try number four-thousand, two hundred and seventy then."

Kamudansa interrupted, knowing the time, and realizing that the poor child looked like he was ready to cry.

"Natsu-kun, it's eleven 'o'clock, and Hogo-kun and Kushina-chan should be asleep by now. In fact, I was expecting you to put Kushina to sleep three _hours __**ago**_." Kamudansa's formerly sweet smile turned dangerous as she practically snarled the last three words.

"It's eleven? Well, how the time flies by..." Natsu nervously laughed seeing Kamudansa's angry gaze turned on him.

"_**No Excuses Natsu**_," she growled, glaring all the while.

"Ah, look at that, I have some paperwork to do, why don't you take Hogo home and put Kushina to sleep? Bye, love you Kamu-chan!" he quickly put Kushina into her arms, and shoved Hogo out the door, slamming it after.

Kamudansa knelt down. "Why don't we get you home sweetie? Then I have to put Kushi-chan to bed."

The ten-year-old stared at her. "Weren't you just angry?"

She giggled. "That was just an act so you and Kushina could get some much needed rest."

As if rehearsed, Kushina let out a yawn, and shut her eyes.

"Oh. I think I'm going to fall asleep now. Please catch me." With that, Hogo passed out.

Kamudansa easily caught him, and she carried him back to his house, where his parents Surudoi Kasshoku and Yawara were waiting anxiously.

"I'm deeply sorry for this. Natsu-kun roped poor Hogo into one of his projects."

Yawara bowed. "It's no problem at all Kamudansa-sama." A glare. "I meant Kamudansa-chan. I'm just happy that Hogo is safe."

"Good night Yawara-chan, Kasshoku-kun!"

"Good night," Kasshoku and Yawara answered back, yellow-eyes trained on their lady.

* * *

As he was hiding from Kamudansa, Natsu realized that he never got the Plushy calling out of Kushina's system.

"Damn it!"


End file.
